Living Without Margin: What a Hard Season Taught Me About My Priorities
Recently, I've had to step back from YouTube because we lost two people we dearly loved, suddenly and tragically. There is not a whole lot I'm going to say about that here, other than thank you for those of you who have prayed, and who will pray as a result of reading this. The Lord has been near to the broken-hearted.
As an important side note, I suppose that it won't hurt to ask-- if you are reading this (since this post will forever be on the internet), please do pray with us that the death of these two saints will ultimately bear abundant fruit on this side of heaven- for His glory, and the joy of their daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren.
But, to return to the point of this post, the Lord has a way of using seasons like this to bring more clarity to our lives. Tragedy or trials helps you see pretty quickly what matters most, and whether or not how we spend our time reflects this well. And it is a reminder that life is a vapor.
For me, honestly, one thing that this has helped me realize is that I've been operating with very little to no margin. My bandwidth has been filled to the brim with little wiggle room for life to happen, and yet I teach, encourage, and strongly believe in having margin in life. So this has landed with some weight.
The Thing About Margin
Here's the thing about margin. You don't always notice that it's gone until something requires it.
At times, I have found that the seasons where I've been the most consistent are actually the seasons where I'm most at risk, and where I need to be more self-aware or keep myself in check. Because everything can appear all fine and good from the outside, because nothing is really falling apart. But I may be operating where there is nothing left to give, either. And not really realize it until it's too late.
Why It's Good When Life Doesn't Go According to Plan
When life happens and does not go according to plan, it's a good thing for at least two reasons.
It tests us. Are we malleable? Do we really believe that man plans his way, but the Lord establishes our steps, and do we trust Him in this? Are we willing to hold our plans loosely? This is good for our character and our faith.
It sobers us to become more aware of the reality of life. And this can and should cause us, especially if it's a pattern, to reconsider how we are spending our time. Teach us to number our days, so that we may gain a heart of wisdom (Psalm 90:12).
Stepping Back as Faithful Stewardship
Sometimes, stepping back from the way some things have been is necessary and wise. When done prayerfully and thoughtfully, it can be one way to be a faithful steward of what God has actually put right in front of you (e.g., your family, home, time, the people right in front of you, etc.).
So how do you do that well, knowing you're not just dropping something because it's hard? Because hard doesn't always mean bad. And not everything that's difficult is a sign to stop.
Coming Back to Your Priorities
What has helped us walk through seasons like this is to remember our God-given priorities, and to honestly discuss whether or not our time reflects what is most important to us. This is not a vague discussion, but is a very specific (and tremendously helpful) one. And it is possible to have these conversations, because we've already clarified what those priorities are.
It is very easy, in a full life, to get bogged down with the "urgent" and "loud" rather than stay focused on what is "important". When this happens, it is incredibly freeing to take the time to recalibrate and let go of what doesn't ultimately serve your God-given priorities and mission as a family.
Jeremy and I talk about this more in our podcast episode below, and I am also going to include one of my videos where I talk through this a bit more practically. I hope it blesses you!
