A Homemaker’s Arch Nemesis: Shiny-Object Syndrome.
My to-do-list never ends. I don’t think it’s ever meant to end, that is not a realistic goal. Nevertheless, a never-ending to-do list does mean that there are many opportunities to be distracted and pulled away by all that we could do. And because of the reality of the infinite list, we could very easily be busy all day and fool ourselves into thinking we are managing a home.
However, busy does not mean fruitful, nor does it mean faithful; busy does not mean we are stewarding our time wisely. We can check task after task off of the list and organize all the closets, and yet leave the family without dinner, the bills unpaid, and children stinky and untended to.
This is a common temptation for the homemaker, because there are simply so many moving pieces of the home. But, there is a very simple way that we can nip this in the bud, and that is to simply 1) Get clear on priorities, and 2) follow through on those priorities with a plan, or set rhythm for the day.
A rhythm keeps you focused on the priorities for your home.
I’ll give an example from just this week. I have a very limited time in the day to work on my business, because the majority of my time and focus is centered on my home and family. So that means, when I sit down, I have to be extremely intentional about what tasks I choose to take care of on a given day. To help me do that, I have a rhythm that includes set priorities for each day of the week. This helps me keep the ball rolling and stay consistent.
In addition to my typical rhythm of the week (e.g., to publish content, newsletters, etc.), I am in the middle of a course update, which means a lot of extra random tasks. And then there are emails, little fires that need to be put out, a website page that needs updating, and the infinite list of possibilities goes on.
So this week, I sat down to take care of the daily priorities, but I started finding myself pulled by what seemed “urgent” in the moment (AKA shiny-object syndrome). I'll admit, it was a little extra shiny this week for me, because of the exciting new course update.
By God’s grace, I glanced up at the clock, remembered I was finite, and gladly moved back to what the focus of the day was for me at the time. I told myself if that got done, I could take care of a couple of the other things as a bonus. And, if not, I trusted the Lord with the time He gave me.
And so, I pressed on and did the next best thing according to what was most important, not what seemed urgent and random. It worked out beautifully.
A rhythm helps you answer “what’s next”.
Last week I talked about how rhythms of the home serve to answer one key question: "What's next?"
There are a few layers to having a solid rhythm to the home that can help you answer this question. It's simple, but it does require a little prayer, forethought, and time. And it's so worth the peace of mind that it brings.
First of all, we want to be sure to order our days in a way that pleases God (“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” -Psalm 90:12). We want to make sure that our goals and desires for the home reflect our God-given priorities, and we want to ensure that our rhythms help us walk more faithfully in our daily calling. For from Him, and through Him, and to Him are all things (Romans 11:36), even our homemaking. I talk about how to think through priority-based rhythms a bit more in the video below if you want to hear more on this, but for now, lets jump straight to the practical.
Here are three very basic parts to a home management system that can help answer this question:
1. Daily rhythms
We all naturally have some structure to the day, because of God-given cycles found in nature. The sun rises, and the sun sets. And we get hungry a few times in between. Even if someone doesn't intentionally think through how they want to order the day, there is naturally going to be an order to their day. That is a grace.
Even though we all have the same amount of hours in a given day, one person's home can look much different from another person's home. Often the reason for this boils down to how we leverage the time.
But again, God does not leave us with a blank slate. We have points in the day that already exist (waking, meals, sleep, etc.). I've found that it can be tremendously helpful to go with the grain of God's creation, and anchor habits onto those points in the day to help us effectively steward our time. Naturally, this turns into a daily rhythm.
Simply put, daily rhythms help us get the daily necessities done. And if we thoughtfully make these decisions ahead of time, we can know exactly what the next best thing to do is (and not get distracted by the shiny objects). Anything else is a bonus.
2. Weekly rhythms
Then we have the maintenance piece of the home, which includes tasks that may not require our daily attention but do need some semblance of regularity (or they simply get missed). That is where we can lean into weekly rhythms (AKA theme days, or days where you focus on a certain "zone" in the home). This is a time-tested way of managing the home that spans across centuries, and it works. I talk more about theme days here, if you want to learn more.
As a part of the daily rhythm, I recommend having a short (at least ~30 minutes or so) block of time where you can chip away at some of the weekly themed tasks. Having this as a part of the rhythm of the day, and then knowing what to focus on each day when that time comes, is key to consistently managing these different areas of the home.
3. A to-do list system that works
There are things that rhythmically happen each day and week, but what about the miscellaneous tasks that come up (e.g., a UPS drop-off, a call to make, etc.)? This is where a rolling master to-do list can be tremendously helpful.
First of all, it's important to have a central place for this list. Personally, I like to keep mine in my notebook, and I have one list for each month. Whatever doesn't get crossed off gets rewritten onto next month's list. And when miscellaneous things come up that you know you need to get to, you've got a place to write it down and get it off your mind. If something is higher up on the priority list and needs to be taken care of sooner than later, I like to mark it somehow (e.g., highlight it or mark it with an asterisk).
The rolling master to-do list gives me a place to pull from when I set my priorities for the day. Yet, we do have to remember, that we are finite. That list is infinite. And we need to be realistic. So how do we do that?
The Three Priority Rule
Remember how I said it is important to look at rhythms as a guide, and not a law? Part of mitigating the all-too-common temptation of letting a rhythm or a list weigh us down is to be realistic. My friends, this is so important.
In short, it's wise not to pack our daily rhythms too full, and to leave buffer in the week. It also helps to limit ourselves to a maximum of three priorities for the day. When I say don't pack daily rhythms too full, that means it's wise to be realistic about how much we can get done in a span of time, and leave a lot of room for life to happen. We need room to breathe and live life. The goal is not to get as much done as possible every single day.
When I recommend that we leave buffer in the week, I have found that it is wise to have at least one day that is designated as a "sharpen the saw day," where we can take care of some of the odds and ends. It is also quite important to be very realistic when we think through our priorities for the next day and what our focus needs to be, which is why I say to choose a maximum of three priorities for the day (less if postpartum, pregnant, or in an extra-intense season of life).
I'll share what I do. When I do my evening reset (one of my daily rhythms), I look at what's on the docket for the next day. I jot down any appointments or outings, along with my dinner plans (already made during my weekly reset). Then I note a maximum of three priorities I'd like to get done the next day. Where do I pull from these priorities? I'm glad you asked.
I pull my priorities from two places:
My home management binder, and
My rolling master to-do list.
My binder has my weekly rhythms, including a potential task list for each theme day. I pick one or two things from this list that need to happen, depending on the day (I do not try to do all of it).
And my rolling master to-do list has all of the miscellaneous things that are not as set-in-stone but still need to be taken care of. If it's related to a theme day, I'll add that to the list. If it's a priority, I might add that instead.
However you do it, the moral of the story is this: I've found that it's best to limit yourself to a max of three priorities, and to always remember that your daily and weekly rhythms are meant to serve you, so you always know what the next best thing to do is.
And, as always, when things don't go according to our plans, we trust the Lord's Providence.
Man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9
Need help building some of these rhythms for your home? Check out the Rooted Homemakers Collective, where I walk you through it step-by-step.
